#posting this a day early (from my time zone) bc i will probably be too busy tomorrow to make anything ..

[kiisaes]

big day for annoying people (me)

[mostly-imagines]

Things About My Jason

aka things that might weasel their way into details of stories one day, might not

your boy is clocking in at 6’4 + 3/4 inches and about 245 lbs (he’s the only batkid to be taller than bruce). 

he cusses a lot it, usually doesn’t correlate w anger or intensity its just how he expresses himself. he’ll cuss at you sometimes but not at you and he tries his best to never do it out of anger.

he’s never said it out loud but he would drop all the vigilante shit for you in a heartbeat if you wanted him to (i think he’s also the only batfam member who would do that).

you have an agreement in place to never make any big decisions in the middle of the night/post patrol—this came into place after a few too many bad nights had him coming home shaking and panicked about your safety and convinced he needed to leave you alone for good. 

he kind of zones out sometimes, its bordering on dissociation.

you have a black cat, salem, that’s been around since before you and jason had even met. his yellow eyes pierce you in a way that feels like he’s glaring straight into your soul and judging what he sees. he was suspicious of jason for a while but over time has come to love and protect jason almost as much as you.

he has a lot of nervous habits that have built up over years of stress and trauma. he’ll often double or even triple check locks and cameras. his hand tends to go to where his gun holster would be, regardless of whether or not its there. he’s very conscious of your breathing, especially when you’re asleep, and when he’s stressed or upset he’ll try to align his breathing with yours. he worries that you might get annoyed with how often he checks up on you, be it asking directly, texting you, or just looking you over to make sure you’re doing okay, that you’re happy. he’s also made a habit of standing directly behind you when you’re wearing anything short, especially skirts or dresses. You’re not entirely sure if it’s intentional or not.

day to day, he runs on very little sleep naturally so he’s awake early goes to bed late. he used to not focus much on making meals that actually taste good and have thought put into them until he started dating you. he started catering his grocery trips specifically with you in mind and the things you might like. he actually prefers going on grocery trips and little mundane errands with you bc he had no idea that these tiny aspects of life could bring him so much joy and peace. he also buys you new towels and updates your first aid kit constantly, though the latter is more out of his necessity than yours. depending on his mood, he’ll usually either take scalding hot or freezing showers. 

he’s 100% down to let you decorate the apartment however you want, even if you move into his place. his only ask is that he’s left with space to put his books (of which ne needs plenty). if he had to choose, he probably likes a warm atmosphere best, in terms of like lighting and colors. he’s really just not a fan of anything that feels cold or impersonal like the manor can sometimes seem. other than that he doesn’t really have opinions on it, whatever makes you happy he’ll like. but he’ll still happily go shopping with you to find stuff. but really that’ll just look like you saying “ooh look at this” and him saying “great, lets get it” at every single thing you pick up. 

there are unloaded guns and ammo hidden around your apartment and also stocked generously in a closet or two. he cleans them regularly, you think he does it partially as a kind of stress reliever. before you he didn’t have too much regard for his own safety, so he would sleep with one under his pillow. 

he does everything he can to keep you safe and he’ll insist on adding extra locks to the doors and windows, ones the landlord wont have keys to. yeah he’s paranoid so he’ll keep the bed as far from the door as possible and is unrelenting in his insistence that you sleep on the wall side. if you’re too tired to move, that’s okay, he’ll gently move you over himself. honestly though, your apartment is just as secure, if not more, than any of his safe houses. as such, he absolutely can and will easily hack into the lobby security cameras to check up on things. if he has to go away for a while he’ll send one of his siblings to stop by to check on you and make sure you're okay. 

he prefers to wear layers, it makes him feel more secure and comfortable. he does like cutoff sleeves sometimes but only because you like them on him. aside from that, he’s usually not such a fan of showing much skin because of a) his scars and b) he feels exposed to attacks. he has so many long sleeved and warm clothes in his closet that he heavily encourages you to bundle up in some of them when its cold. 

he goes through phases of bad sleep and they can vary greatly in severity. there’s nights he just physically cannot sleep and this usually originates from intense anxiety. these are easier to ease him back from and some simple comforting will be enough to get him to at least try to sleep. most commonly its the nightmares that make it hard for him. it’ll usually be a one-off that he just can’t fall back asleep afterwards. the worst is when he goes through phases of frequent nightmares, like every night, multiple times a night. when that happens, he will do everything in his power to stay awake for as long as he can. you’ve yet to find any techniques that hands down prevent or even slow the nightmares, but you’ve been able to find some remedial measures that work pretty well.

kissing him helps get his mind off scary thoughts (but not joker related) but not just like single peck it’s got to be a whole session to really work. the one that works best is having a hand on one of your pulse points while you sleep, or directly over your heart. unfortunately this did lead to him to accidentally choking you after a particularly bad nightmare. he was absolutely horrified and removed his hands from you completely the second he gained recognition. he actually fully got out of bed and backed away from you. he wouldn’t even hear you out about him not sleeping on the couch and continued to not budge on it for over a week. 

him punishing himself like that made you feel extra bad because that had occurred during a round of the relentless nightmares and you were sure he was still waking up panicked constantly without you there to help soothe him. you actually know for a fact he was because every couple of hours the bedroom door would creak open slightly before shutting again like he was checking to make sure you were there and okay. you ended up having to literally lay on top of him on the couch and refuse to leave him for him to agree to sleep in bed with you again, although he was still not willing to fall asleep with his hands on you for a while. 

he always needs it to be quiet when he goes to sleep so he can stay on alert which usually leads to him waking up to the littlest sounds, which is technically the point. if there’s any kind of white noise he’ll force himself to stay awake. if he does get woken up he’ll go from 0 to 100 like that. he also needs the door to be shut, non negotiable, and really prefers the apartment to be colder > hotter. it also helps that you’ll cuddle into him for warmth.

all of these things are things he did before you met, but he’d also developed some new habits after you got together. he used to sleep in the middle of the bed but now he absolutely insists that you sleep on the wall side so he can act as a protective barrier between you and any incoming danger. unless its after a rough patrol, he tends to wait to sleep until after you’ve fallen asleep. he doesn’t really have a reason for this, it just makes him feel better.

his relationship with bruce is complicated, of course. in my canon, the extent of it is that bruce didn’t kill the joker, prevented jason from doing it, and has made many attempts to stop jason from killing at all. obviously it’s not the fact that batman won’t let anybody die that broke jason’s heart, it’s that his father couldn’t let go of his moral code for a second and avenge his murdered son. the resulting anger stems from so much sadness and grief over his own death and it caused him to isolate himself even further from bruce. on a conscious level, he wanted to be far away from him emotionally as possible to protect himself while still enacting his own kind of revenge towards bruce. and so yeah, he did try to kill batman a couple times, whatever.

on an unconscious level, he’d hoped that bruce would take the initiative to try to close the space between them and apologize, and while jason didn’t know it yet: that was all he really wanted from him. inwardly, he still cares what bruce thinks and wants his approval and affection but its so conflicting for him. it also doesn’t help that it took bruce such a long time to swallow his pride and even consider that he was wrong before he could apologize. a lot of negotiations had to take place before they could even begin to really reconcile. 

about a year later they’d come to a steady, solid agreement that mostly worked for both of them. jason was allowed to kill, but only within his territory in gotham and only under agreed upon circumstances. there’s also a separate rule that jason’s not allowed out on patrol when the joker is loose—it used to be a whole thing before you’d met and oftentimes several bats were assigned to keep him away. even with these guidelines in place, things were still rocky between them and jason had only just started to come back around the manor when he’d met you. honestly you and bruce meeting was a major step in this process and everyone could feel the shift.

his relationship with his brothers is different, but just as complicated. he kind of views dick as being perfect in spite of also acknowledging his flaws. in his head, its sort of like, in comparison to himself, dick had the perfect life with perfect versions of all the same pitfalls jason had to go through. he knows its not really fair to think of it this way, but it’s hard sometimes. all in all though, he does look up to dick a lot. 

with tim, he thinks he’s a crazy rich kid—which, fair—but also in a weird way holds a lot of respect for tim for not being afraid of him. realistically, the way jason showed back up and his relationship  with tim started is insane, so its even more insane that tim was like ‘yeah, chill’ and that probably jump started their bond as brothers more than anything. 

for as much shit as he gives him, he honestly feels really bad for damian and all the shit he was raised believing. he couldn’t quite explain why, but he does see a lot of himself in damian, even past the surface level anger. 

he’s not good at resolving fights, his mind tends to jump to the absolute worst and he assumes you’re done with him, you resent him, it’s all over. it was really bad at the beginning of your relationship when he hadn’t even begun to consider that you love him half as much as he loves you. now, you’ve been able to help him understand that you still love him, even when you fight, and fighting does not equal breaking up. however, he still has trouble taking initiative in making amends. not because he doesn’t want to but more so because he feels vulnerable in ways that terrify him, having to acknowledge and speak into existence that he’d done something wrong feels like setting himself up to be exposed with no defense. 

another part of him feels like he already hurt you and if he tries to remedy things with you, he could just make it worse. So for a while at least, you’ll have to be the one to start the conversation, though not necessarily meaning you have to apologize first. 

as we know, Jason’s not immune to bouts of fear and stress. there’s times when he panics and there’s times when he has full blown panic attacks. the panic attacks are rarer, but much more severe. he’s known to lash out (especially when he’s not at your apartment) and has definitely broken a nose or two of people who got too close/tried to touch him. you’re not sure if it’s an intentional action or not, but he tends to claw at his skin or hit himself in the head when he’s very upset. after going through a couple of these with him, you’ve compiled a thorough list of DOs and DONTs for these times. DONT hold his wrists, move suddenly, touch him without warning, or corner him. DO keep your touches light, words soft, rooms vacant of other people, and loud noises. slowly but surely they’re getting less severe and overcome quicker.

[desceros]

me: [looks at calendar, gets a wicked idea, looks into the camera] happy springtime, turtle fam! who's ready to celebrate the season?

...mating season, that is. hehe. [dodges the tomatoes]

so! i had the idea that it would be super fun to have a community-wide event where we all have a prompt and then everyone fills it in their own way.

...i then decided all the prompts i came up with were too good not to use, but also none of them were Good Enough to use exclusively, so i changed my mind and the prompt is now just MATING SEASON. with a few suggestions at the bottom of this post if you're looking for some.

since spring is coming upon us, i hereby invite everyone to join in the vernal festivities... which in turtle parlance, of course, means only one thing: write, draw, whatever your version of "mating season", then join me on march 1 to post it with the tag #TMNTSpringShellebration. we then shall browse the fine selection of our mutual artistic efforts, and basically just have a good time as a community.

here are the prompts i came up with as starters-slash-things-to-include if you're looking for a place to get started. feel free to use these at will, or use them to come up with something of your own:

“Please don’t make me explain this. It’s humiliating as is.”

Oops, Looks Like Mating Season Came A Week Early This Year

“…In all of my mating seasons, this has never happened before.”

“I told you not to come by! It’s mating season!”

Probably should have expected it to be different now that he’s not going through it alone.

Because of Shenanigans, you have to wait. Wait… Wait… ok now.

They’re not the right person for mating season… but they’re the one who’s here, so…

“Show me where it hurts."

so yeah! see you all on march 1 for the, uh, spring shellebration. party popper emoji

questions i imagine will be popping up and i hope will clear up here before my askbox swells beyond capacity under the cut to keep this post from being Way Too Long. also it's really not that serious it's just an excuse to write slash draw for everyone Please Don't Take This Thing Too Seriously It's Not That Serious:

"can i participate?" yes! it's literally just an invitation to do something. nothing fancier than that. no need to be following me or in my friend group or whatever.

"can i write (insert fic idea here)?" yep! so long as it's related to the idea of mating seasons, it flies. reader insert? hell yea. oc? hell yeah. solo turtle and his favorite pillow? go for it.

"can i draw (insert art idea here)?" yep! uh. i know tumblr has the cops watching for sin bin material, but you art people know how to deal with that. and if you don't, uh, ask the other art people. im just a feral cat in a trench coat

"how do i participate?" write/draw/collect songs for/whatever. then, on march 1, post it and tag it #TMNTSpringShellebration. also, for funsies, keep it hush hush what you're working on so we can all be super shocked when the day comes! except, y'know, that you're planning on joining in. totally do that.

"when do i post it?" march 1. whenever on that day. waves hands around in a vague gesture at time zones not mattering. seriously don't take this so seriously it's just me wanting to create cool shit with my friends with a little more structure to it

"does it have to be horny?" i mean. it's an event about mating season. so by definition it's going to be at least a little horny. but however you interpret it is cool. even if it's just. idk. leo sitting sweatily in a chair looking longingly at a glass of water bc he's thirstier than usual. be smart about things, people. i'm not your dad.

"which tmnt verse is this for?" whichever one you want it to be for!! rise! bayverse! 2007! your fan iteration! your friend's fan iteration! your mortal enemy's fan iteration! yes!

"will you be reblogging everything?" absolutely not, but this isn't an event About Me. i am incidental to the thing. it's about Us. coming together as a community. for horny turtles. puts my hands on your shoulders. do it for you. for your friends. for the community.

[fizzywashere87]

Pros and Cons of Dating Fizzy

notes: i decided to make a compare and contrast post for me?? why the fuck not cuzzos. this is some form of self advertisement and im not above it. (im off limits and a minor)

M. List

Pros:

i will be very loyal towards you

if i like you a lot, i won't get an ick -unless it's something SUPER bad but even then i tend to let red flags pass over me.

i'm a good listener when i want to be -if i rlly like you again, i would always want to be

i'd do literally anything and everything for you

id buy you gifts and pretend not to care if you didn't like it

i don't keep secrets of mine from you -unless i CANT say anything, then, sorry

you don't have to do much to gain my trust if i like you a lot -that doesn't stop intrusive thoughts.

i'll adjust to your needs after studying your behavior

i have a good memory so i'll remember certain topics you bring up -likes, dislikes, facts you share, a story you tell me about.

i'll defend you should anyone try to do or say anything bad about you -i'll throw hands for you

i am not a dry texter most of the time so you'll have an interesting convo for the most part

it doesn't take much for forgiveness if i'm rlly down bad -i don't forget tho

you get goodmorning/night texts

giving you my hairtie/bracelets and spraying perfume on it -i'll pretend not to notice if you don't wear them

A Double-Edged Sword:

i'm blunt - i could be overly blunt but at least i'll be deadass with u

ill drop my needs for yours -if you rlly care then you'd be sad abt this i think

i struggle to pick up certain implications -you can probably use that to your advantage

i've learnt to mask really well to adaptto your personality - you wont rlly know how i'm feeling unless i choose to let you know

i'm attached to you -maybe too clingy? if you tell me to fuck off i will tho

i'll take what you say literally most of the time

i'll brag to my friends about you -i might also complain if you make me sad

i put my family before you

i have a hard time saying no a lot of the times

i hold onto promises -i keep mine tho

i'm kinda stubborn

i do dangerous shit -it has the potential for entertainment but if u rlly care then the downside is that i might get hurt over a simple dare

'are you sure?' x100

i laugh at everything -you could end up thinking ur funny bc i laughed so you go retell that joke to ANYONE else and realize my humor is shit and you are not funny :|

i send you memes/videos and go 'us' -it could get annoying

i'll pester you to take care of yourself -it could get annoying. also i do not take my own advice

i can be rlly protective but not like super alpha sigma dw

i'll want to wear your hoodies/shirts

my standards are dangerously low -you don't have to do much

i put myself down a lot -this could end up funny

Cons:

at least once a week i'll ask you if you're gonna leave me

i have underlying health complications that show up at the worst times ever

i am not funny -and it's worse cuz i'll actively be trying

i'm very specific about A LOT and i'll lose my shit if my shit isn't together -yes this has potential to become your problem

i will not tell you what i need from you -i just won't. unless you pester me for way too long

i'll assume you'll leave me at some point -this is regardless to your answer to the first bullet point

i WILL complain about my day and you WILL have to listen to it -it's full of complaints and i'll only stfu if u tell me to

i'll cry over the dumbest shit -whether it's front of you depends on how close. usually early on and you'll be the cause 8/10 times

if i'm overstimulated it might be your problem

i'll get mad at you from the cause of my overthinking

i'll secretly not trust you -not for like other people i mean reassurance wise

i need constant reassurance and it might be brought up indirectly but snarkily -i'll never tell you outright

i suck at flirting and i'll run away from you

i might zone out on you during face to face convos -probably from calculating correct eye contact durations or just thinking bout you- but while you're talking so its not good

i'm kinda loud and it's worse when i'm excited -i'm quiet in the mornings tho :3

i'm a lil aggressive

i'm kinda shit at comfort and my advice may not be good advice

if i see a point/indication and i don't like it i'll ignore it because i don't want to deal with it

i want your praise/validation

i get pissed easy

i take nothing seriously

'oops'

[fairyhagmother]

(in response to the reply on the felixravinstills blog) In my defense, you both are doing a lot of legwork keeping her tag alive most of the time. Sometimes a fandom/community really do be two blogs, lmaooo.

(missed going through these blogs too!)

Hope it's not too early to start asking about her. I don't know if you or your friend ever went into detail into it, I missed a lot, but i vaguely remember there being talk about Gaul's backstory. How do you think her parents were like? Do you have any hcs as to how her relationship with them was?

(I sent this here but if your friend wants to give their two cents/their own hcs that'd be lovely. Two cakes situation.)

-Gaulnon

HI GAULNON! We missed you! I’m considering this ask my first Xmas present as it is four am here 😌 happy holidays / happy Christmas if you celebrate!

Personally I was sort of inspired by the fact that her name is taken from one of the territories annexed by imperial Rome to have her be from a plebeian and non-patrician background. Abyssal has her meet Maximinius ravinstill at the academy, I usually set their meeting later bc although I imagine her parents being firmly middle class, they can’t afford the tuition of a school on scholars row.

I imagine both her parents working at the university. For thematic reasons, Her father was a botanist (also bc then it gives gaul something to talk about with the grandmaam LMAO yay for the political aspects of the garden! Order can only be achieved through violence this is a thing all good rulers and gardeners know etx) and her mother worked at the head of a typing pool when those were still a thing in panem. I think they are both very smart but also remarkably normal and gaul resents their lack of ambition a little. Her inherited social status is probably the one thing she is ‘touchy’ about throughout her life and political opponents will bring it up to humiliate her (even tho I hc that plebeians rose in status post dark days due to their loyalty to the Capitol).

I think a lot about the misinterpretation of Hobbes, and how Hobbes was a mathematician and grew up surrounded by violence and fear and how he thought freedom should be readily sacrificed in the name of order. Did you know he was born premature? His mother was traumatised by the invasion of the Spanish forces and went into premature labour. Hobbes called fear his twin and I think abt it a lot. I mention this bc one does not internalise his type of politics (although he wasn’t actually an authoritarian in the way we would now define the term but. I’m getting carried away) without having been exposed to some violence of some kind. I’m not sure yet.

Only thing I know is that volumnia refuses to develop class consciousness. come on girl you can do it! Once I jokingly imagined Mrs gaul unionising the typing pool and volumnia being like my mother is so stupid.

Ok what was I talking about again? I think as a single child she was close to her parents, that they were perhaps both admiring and scared of her, and actually encourage a lot of her. scientific pursuits? I imagine she would dissect a dead pigeon on the kitchen table and her parents would just be like. Volumnia not in the food prep zone!!!!

[batsplat]

what press conference is that and what lies is Valentino telling 😭😭😭

I’m always obsessed w the Case - J Lo - Vale pressers bc I feel like Jorge actively dissociates anytime he’s not asked a question (bc he’s already internally mapping out his answers to the next 20 possible questions he could be asked), Casey simmers n stews n hates every second of being there, and Vale is just always having the time of his life

(side note but rly underrated skill of his!! to be able to pretend you actually enjoy the press element!! maybe he’s not pretending, maybe he really is just able to turn it On that often & that easily…but idk I’ve been a longtime f1 fan too & the way Vale is able to make press conferences ~fun, or at least project that he’s having fun during them, is incredibly rare)

((i recognize “underrated” is probably not the right term generally speaking for the guy who is widely recognized as like the greatest showman the sport’s ever had lol. just that i personally underrate it & then am always pleasantly surprised when i watch almost any press conference of his))

(text posts here) this is from aragon 2011, a point in their relationship where quite honestly casey didn't need much of an excuse to give valentino the stink eye

there's not anything in the presser you'd actively expect casey to want to kill valentino with his mind over (beyond valentino's terminal affinity for yapping at anyone in his vicinity in these things). maybe valentino commenting on how fast casey and ducati had been at aragon the last year somehow attracted casey's ire? maybe valentino reiterating he was going to race in japan (a major talking point throughout that year - valentino and jorge had initially been united in launching a bit of a riders' revolt on that issue, including meeting at jorge's motorhome at a time when relations between them were otherwise... uh, frosty; eventually it had been casey and jorge who were the final holdouts, with casey still not willing to 100% commit at aragon)... generally though, I reckon this is mostly just how casey looked at valentino those days

though that reminds me, there's one specific question where, if I were valentino, honestly I'd be tempted to off myself - but somehow it's casey who manages to look quite awkward while valentino just laughs

Q: Different question for you, Casey - any advice for Valentino this weekend? This is where you turned your season around last year. ... Ride faster? CS: Do something drastic, I don't know... (mumbles) [Same for me?]

absolute all timer dynamic idk, look at casey's little nervous tics while valentino is grinning at him

so self-conscious god bless

anyway, here's the presser photo

expression gets gradually more enthusiastic as you move to the right. not reflective of current competitive situation

and yeah I find their different styles of engagement v interesting!! jorge's also gone on a bit of an arc with this over the years... you've got these very early clips where he still needs a translator in the presser (not at all uncommon, dovi for instance was the same) and he's just deeply awkward but also quite enthusiastic, then you get to his first premier class years where... y'know, he's clearly not a natural at this, but he WANTS to be, he WANTS to engage with the process and be charming and all the rest of it... and then by 2011 he's kind of given up. 2010 was great for his career but less great for his popularity, and it's really when you can feel the disillusionment creeping in. he never quite loses that part of himself, still obviously wants to win hearts and minds... but yeah. he's never been particularly up for listening to his peers in these things, but by this point in time he did clearly want to fast forward through these things. default state is zoning out

casey might be a well-known sceptic of any kind of engagement with the public - but he's actually a self-professed people watcher, he likes sitting around quietly observing people. one of my fave lil autobiography nuggets:

I like to think I can read people very well, especially people I get to study a lot, and when I come in during a session to make changes to the bike that is exactly what I am doing. The mechanics might think that because I have got my visor down I'm just sitting there doing nothing but I'm observing everything and I could see they weren't coping well with the pressure of having the big bosses watching over them.

'my mechanics think I'm doing nothing but actually I'm sitting with my visor down secretly observing them' is such a. a deeply funny line, deeply casey line. not sure I'm convinced the mechanics would prefer to know that this is what casey was doing, but there we are. in any case, obviously casey doesn't SAY this but I don't think it's a massive leap to suggest he was doing the same thing in pressers. ofc I enjoy using these photos in text posts because they kinda tell their own story, but I should note that to some extent this is just casey's resting face. like,, if I'm sufficiently motivated obviously I can also make a 'casey doesn't fw dani' version

now admittedly, there are way fewer photos of casey staring at dani and jorge (or indeed anyone else) than there are of him staring at valentino... arguably even in the years where valentino is very much no longer casey's main on-track rival. but like, there's also relatively less photos of casey making heart eyes at those other two guys. whether this genuinely reflects how much staring casey was doing or is just the result of photographer bias (no criticism, I too would be documenting every look casey sends valentino's way) or a combination of the two... who knows. but I DO think that casey was very much committed to studying valentino, including by doing this little staring act in pressers. slightly clashes with his whole 'oh I don't care about my rivals' schtick, but, well, casey's no stranger to a bit of an internal contradiction. so he's quietly studying and quietly judging and quietly seething... LEARNING from the enemy by documenting every last detail of his side profile. or something

and yeah lol massive props to valentino not getting tired of this week in week out. admittedly in pressers specifically he does also frequently entertain himself by choosing the nearest convenient victim to yap at, which both jorge and casey very obviously found an annoying habit at times. (shout out to misano 2016 where jorge and valentino started bickering in the presser and jorge afterwards went HE NEVER SHUTS UP IN THESE THINGS, which, like, wasn't particularly relevant in that specific situation and clearly had just been something he'd been sitting on for years.) both jorge and casey have also actively turned to valentino on at least one occasion in a presser to indicate that they would like him to shut the fuck up - and both times valentino has complied, so theoretically at least they could have put a stop to this. so, y'know, it probably doesn't hurt if you're the type of guy willing to make your own fun in these pressers, even when it comes at the active cost of the sanity of the people around you. beyond that though, yup. I mean it's probably a good attitude to have if that's literally your whole life. I think it's always done valentino a lot of good that he's fundamentally a curious type of bloke who is curious about other people. journalists DO piss him off a lot of the time, but in theory it's a process he likes engaging with because he likes talking and he likes listening. honestly did miracles for the vibes of these things, like the f1 thing is a good point because I sometimes watch motogp pressers these days and go. man. this place could do with a yapper

[kiteofdreams]

Alright, first off: this is the first thing I’ve written and posted in like 10 years. (Tbh, it’ll probably take that long again thanks to real life.) I even made this sideblog to post it bc I have severe anxiety about posting it for some reason - I’m not sure why, so we’re stepping outta my comfort zone here. If you can guess where this title came from, you get a high-five for the obscure reference. I hope you enjoy this Christmas Josh fic.

1.7k words. I tried my hand at fluff and there’s no real warnings, but talk of alcohol & being drunk is mentioned.

Christmas had always been your favorite time of year — the Christmas traditions with your family, the small get-togethers with your close friends, and the general happiness of all those around you.

You had started decorating late, but your life had been so crazy, you hadn't had time. So here you were on Christmas Eve, placing the finishing touches onto your Christmas tree. It was your first Christmas not being home with your family. Your plans were to sit by your fireplace, drink some hot chocolate, and watch a movie.

As you queued up your favorite Christmas movie, you reminisced on how you had gotten here. This past year hadn’t been easy; you found yourself in a new city, a new state, and a new job. Although you had moved away from home years prior, it never got any easier packing up your life and changing it completely. As you settled into a routine in your new life, things became easier. You fell in love with the city life. You met new people, socialized with your co-workers, and even went on a few dates. Of course, nothing ever came of the dates. Life had been too hectic for a relationship, too busy with work. And then there was Josh.

Josh was the shining light in your life. A great big ball of sunshine on the darkest days. It all started on a Friday night at a local bar while out with coworkers celebrating the completion of a two-month-long project.

While ordering drinks at the bar, a long-haired (and quite drunk) man turned around and spilled his drink all over you. He hadn’t even realized what happened as he headed over to the table of his friends. You brushed it off at first because it hadn't been the first time you had a drink spilled on you and it probably wouldn't be the last. The more you thought about what had happened, the more irritated you got. By the time you worked up the nerve to confront him, the man was gone. The following week, you saw him again at the same bar, but with a much shorter haircut. This time, you were prepared to tell him how rude he had been that night. As he approached the bar, you cleared your throat and spoke.

“Excuse me, you should probably pay more attention, you spilled your drink all over me last week and then walked away."

The man looked confused.

"Uh," he started, "I wasn't here last week."

Dumbfounded, you stared at him with blinking eyes.

"Yes, you were. Were you that drunk you don't even know where you were? I like the haircut though," you added with a smirk.

"Oh no," he laughed. You were a bit annoyed that he wasn't taking this seriously.

He pointed towards the table he came from, "that was my brother, Jake. We're twins. I'm Josh, sorry about him."

You looked over to see a table full of people, including the man who ran into you.

"Oh my god, I'm an idiot and apparently was drunker than I thought," you said while hiding your face in your hands. "This is so fucking embarrassing."

"How about this," Josh trailed off while laughing, "I buy you a drink and we can go yell at my brother."

The two of you hit it off instantly, becoming fast friends. Although you two were complete opposites, you fit together like a puzzle. Josh was an early bird, while you were a night owl. You wanted everything to be bright colors, while Josh preferred neutrals. He was a rockstar, you had a corporate 9-5 job. Somehow, you both flowed together like you had been friends for your whole life. And of course, your feelings turned into something more. How could they not? He was your balance, the shoulder to lean on, the voice of reason in your life. But, you'd never acted on your feelings, too afraid to lose him.

A knock on the door pulled you from your thoughts and back to the present. You jumped as you weren't expecting anyone, especially so late at night on Christmas Eve. Josh and his brothers went back home, your best friend was heading out of the country, and even the neighbor you were close to was heading out of the city. As you looked through the peephole, a wild head of curly hair appeared, followed by a toothy grin. You threw open the door with a surprised gasp.

“Josh! What are you doing? You’re not supposed to be here!”

He laughed as he walked past you with his hands full of bags.

“I couldn’t let you be alone on Christmas.”

Your heart melted right then. Josh headed off to your kitchen to drop off the bags before heading to your guest bedroom.

"I'm staying the night, by the way," he shouted from the bedroom. You let out a deep sigh before you rolled your eyes and followed his voice into the bedroom. "That way we can be together for Christmas morning."

Not that you minded Josh staying with you. He had stayed over more times than you could count — from him being too drunk to just not wanting to drive back home. Hell, he had a key to your house for emergencies. But something about it being Christmas Eve felt so domestic like you didn't have to pretend you didn't love him.

"What if I had plans? What if I had a gentleman caller visiting me later?"

You sat down on the edge of the bed and played with the edge of the comforter. Josh poked his head out of the attached bathroom with an eyebrow raised.

"First, do you?"

"Well, no. But I could've, you don--"

"Second, don't say gentleman caller, that's super fucking weird," Josh interrupted. "I know you're upset about not being home for Christmas. You shouldn't be alone."

"You should be with your family, Josh," you replied. "I was going to FaceTime with my family tomorrow, we had it all planned out. I'm okay with it."

Josh placed his hands on either side of your face and looked into your eyes. You took a deep breath and felt your heart start racing.

"It doesn't matter, I'm here with you now, so you're stuck spending Christmas with me."

He placed a kiss on your forehead before turning away towards the living room. You followed after him in a daze. It wasn't as if he hadn't kissed your forehead or cheek before, but it was always when he was past the point of tipsy. You pressed your hand to the spot where his lips were as if you could still feel them there. As you reached the kitchen, you saw Josh pulling various takeout containers from the bags.

"I ordered from Angelinos. I was surprised they were still open. I got your extra breadsticks and alfredo sauce, why are you staring at me like that?"

You shook your head as you whispered "sorry".

"What's going on in that head of yours? You've seemed out of it all night," Josh pushed the hair falling in front of your face behind your ear.

"I don't know," you sighed, willing yourself not to cry. "I guess I'm just missing my family more than I thought."

"Hey, come on. We're gonna have a great Christmas, just us two. You wanna get the drinks while I make you a plate?"

You nodded as you headed towards your fridge to grab a few beers and ciders. Taking the drinks into the living room, you placed them on the table before heading back to help Josh with the food. He shooed you out of the kitchen and followed you into your living room with your plates in hand. He sat the plates down and turned to head back to the bedroom.

"Where are you going now? I want to eat," you shouted to him.

"You can start eating," he yelled back. "I gotta grab something. Oh, get the movie going. I'll be right out."

You grabbed the remote to start the movie and sat down on the couch as you reached for your plate to eat. After a few bites, you opened a cider and took a drink as Josh sat down next to you. Two hours later, you had finished all the food and the movie was over. You stood up to clear the plates, but Josh stopped you.

"You relax, alright? I've got this," he said as he stood to gather the plates and headed towards the kitchen.

"Do you want a hot chocolate while I'm in here?" Josh said from the kitchen. "I can add the peppermint schnapps if you want!"

"Sure, can you make it with milk instead of water?"

"Of course, you want to pick another movie?"

"No," you replied. "I'll let you pick the next one. I probably won't make it through this one."

You sat in silence and scrolled through your phone as you waited for Josh to return. You heard his footsteps behind you and then felt a hand on your shoulder. You looked behind you as Josh placed a small box in your lap. He moved around to sit next to you.

"Open it," Josh said with a bright smile. You noticed he was wringing his hands together, a nervous habit of his. "It's an early present. I got you something else, but wanted you to open this tonight."

You untied the ribbon and slowly opened the box, "Josh, what is this? Is this mistletoe?"

Josh reached into the box to grab the plant and held it above his head.

"We're under the mistletoe. You know what that means, right?"

You stood there in shock with your mouth agape. There was no way he was saying what you thought he might be.

You stared at him and Josh laughed nervously as he continued, "please tell me I haven't been reading this wrong. If I have, I'll leave and we can forget about this whole thing. I don't think I am though. Can I kiss you?"

"Holy shit," you whispered. "Yes, please."

Josh reached around, placed a hand on the back of your neck, and pulled you close to him. Your eyes closed as he brought his lips to yours.

"Merry Christmas, sweetheart," he whispered before kissing you.

At that moment, it felt like time had stopped. Everything aligned to where it needed to be. It was like an electric shock.

Josh pulled back, but your eyes were still closed. As you opened them, Josh sat across from you grinning. You couldn't help but smile back.

"Kiss me again, Kiszka."

As Josh leaned in again, you thought, 'maybe this Christmas wouldn't be so bad.'

[xcziel]

tagged by @alxina - thank you for the tag!

(i am in a very wordy phase so feel free to skip, people who are only here for gifset reblogs)

Three Ships: ummm, god there's too many. right now vegaspete (and really all the kp ships), heihua, and gahan are the top pairings? i seem to be addicted to almost every ship in the dmbj fandom because the writers are so good - and i'm so often a multishipper for any ship involving my favorite poor little meow meows. but. occasionally i hit a ship where my heart just doesn't really admit any other options and these are three of those (although *adding on* to those ships, well ... see the following answer)

First Ever Ship: i don't think i ever consciously "shipped" something before fandom - i still don't ship while actively consuming media, only when i'm looking at it from the outside (tumblr gifsets count!), so i was always just about canon ships. i'd say though that The Secret Garden was my first confusing ship conflict? mary/colin seemed destined but then mary/dickon was also so right? and thus i very early on hit on my preferred solution to such conflicts even if i didn't quantify it that way at the time - why choose? they each have two hands! ot3s all the way

Last Song: Bringin' On the Heartbreak - Def Leppard (mv version 1 and mv version 2 - y'know i've realized a LOT about what i like in media can probably be traced to early def leppard, joe elliot's thing for chains and arthurian-type mythos included. also long hair and tight pants lol)

Last Movie: was wanting watch Lighting Up the Stars but it's evidently only for rental? and since i'm so scattershot about watching things, i'm gonna have to plan a time when i will for sure sit down and finish it

Currently Reading: Winter's Orbit by Everina Maxwell - just started it, seeing what i think

Currently Watching: still going back to the middle of Love Between Fairy and Devil because i keep putting on eps and zoning out doing something else (sewing buttons, taking down christmas tree) and looking up realizing i've missed bits, even though i've seen the end already. but also keeping up with kinnporsche cast shenanigans on youtube

AND now i just started Blood of Youth bc tumblr has done it *again* - my viki pass is turning out to be my most useful subscription ever (i think there's a link to the novel it's based off of circulating on tumblr - i need to find again)

Currently Consuming: yuletide fics! kinda want to do a post on the ones i really enjoyed so far ...

also book rec lists of diverse literary romances (NOT romance genre romances, that would be too easy) for work because i personally do not usually care for either straight up romances (meaning i like sff mostly and if there's romance in that's fine and lovely) OR literary fiction, but it's getting to be that time of year (valentine's day approaching)

and: i made cupcakes! for me to consume! (and to test the process)

Currently Craving: the ability to better thermoregulate because it keeps being too cold at night to go without the heater but too warm during the day, so i'm always either chilly or slightly sweaty. i miss only ever being too warm :(

tagging: anybody who wants to share! i feel like i'm imposing too many @s on people lately but i am interested in what people are up to!

[lokisprettygirl]

you know that feeling one would have when there are tons they wanna say but when the chance arises, nothing comes to mind? this is like that

but still I'll start from something

I never watched any marvel movies until this year when the Spiderman movie came and I was forced to go with my ex friend group (a small toxic community I'm happy to be out of) and although Dr strange was kinda interesting (bcs I'm into spells and magic in general) it didn't get my attention that much. then came the other movie Multiverse of Madness which I went to watch with a guy I've met that day (friend zoned in the second minute of our date) and I loved wanda (who I think was very reasonable throughout the movie) and I had no idea they're related until I saw strange and was like oh the same dude. anyway I searched for all the movies she was in and watched those only, then the other Spiderman movies out of curiosity and somehow it got to thor's movies and that's when I became obsessed with Loki. it was still during my break from tumblr so I just watched movies (and thirsted over him) over and over again.

I study overseas and medicine is a complicated major so I didn't even have time to do anything other than watch movies. so when I was back home I went all out with my thirsting. started posting on my other account (just me letting my horny thoughts out) again. AND finally that's when I started searching for loki smuts and my fucking god I'm so glad I saw your blog along with some others because love your posts are just GOLD and I'm in love with each and every plot you write that I've read until now

that was my story of how I started simping, for you

First of all I'm extremely proud and happy that you got out of that toxic community, toxic friends are the worst of the leeches and the feed on our self esteem and positivity so I'm glad you're away from them.

I love listening to stories about how people got obsessed with loki, early Thor movies and Avengers loki has such charm that I don't even know how I didn't get obsessed with him after the first Avengers movie. It was probably because I had never seen Thor movies like I never sat down and watched it in one go, it was in bits and pieces.

I also got obsessed with him after a marathon last year so I get that really well and trust me when I say this he's the only reason I'm writing, I never felt like doing it before I got a crush on him.

Simping for me? You're too sweet, I'm absolutely delighted to have you here my dear 😍💚 thank you so much for lifting me up.

[tommybaholland]

Hiya! I was wondering if I could request a one-shot with Sugawara where the reader is his best friend and secretly loves him but he doesn’t know? Then maybe another person catches his attention and the reader starts to distance themselves from Suga to try to spare themselves the hurt? Then maybe turns out the other person was just using Suga/wasn’t serious bout him and he realizes that the person he really loves is the reader but now they’re staying away from him and just angst and fluff and dramatic confessions?? Sorry if it’s far too much detail, I get carried away. Your writing is amazing, keep up the fantastic work!

somebody, some body

featuring: sugawara 

goddddd i’m so sorry i am late with a post AGAIN. this has been way overdue to be posted actually, and last night i finished it and was almost done with editing but accidentally lost everything i added and edited in the draft :// so thank you for being patient with me! this ended up being pretty long, so hopefully that makes up for the wait :) anyway, i really liked this idea! i have a little personal experience with this kind of situation, so it was fun to explore those feelings a bit. thanks for requesting and enjoy!

you didn’t always know that you would be in love with koshi sugawara. your dynamic was always friendly, and nothing more. so where did you go wrong?

when you think back to your history with suga, you could never find yourself resenting any time you spent with him. it all started when you moved into his neighborhood and as a shy child, you didn’t have the easiest time making friends. but he was a kind boy who was around your age and made it easy for you to form a bond with him. after all those years, neither one of you had changed that much. you were still reserved at heart but, he was the one who pushed you to things that you both could enjoy. 

one is joining the high school volleyball club together. you weren’t usually one to go outside of your comfort zone, but with him, you felt like you could do anything. he had you fuel your enthusiasm and you had him to thank for that. volleyball ended up being a great idea because it was quite a versatile sport that anyone could play. you found that you were quite athletic and took a liking to the libero position. there was just something exciting about digging a ball off the ground and rolling on the floor to get back up again. also, it looked pretty cool. 

so that was great until you hurt your shoulder during a game, which ended up being more severe than it seemed. now you couldn’t lift your left arm very far over your head unless you wanted to dislocate your shoulder again. it was already a tough recovery period because all you wanted to do was get back to the game. 

he was there with you for the entirety of it and even though he mostly encouraged you, he had to make sure you knew you wouldn’t do anything to hurt yourself. you felt helpless. it was the lowest he had ever seen you and he did everything he could to lift you back up again.

that was something you could never take for granted with him. 

the thing about you and suga is that you were in constant contact, especially during school. if it wasn’t sending each other funny memes or tiktoks, you were either on snapchat with each other or texting. sometimes simultaneously. 

are you alive?? 

yeah i’m awake, unfortunately

what do u want sugar-wara 

whoa how are you up this early lol and sugar is my thing ok

let’s go get sweet buns before class

ur right, it is ur thing. ur sugar-wara

okay i’ll meet you by the light in 15 

there was a lonely intersection in your neighborhood with a red stoplight that seems to have malfunctioned and now the light never stops blinking. you and suga lived on the same street, with the intersection being a perfect place to literally meet in the middle. 

“hey, sugar-- uh oh. someone doesn’t look so sweet today!”

he was always so peppy in the mornings. 

“yeah, well, maybe if someone didn’t wake me up with their annoying texts..”

“if you really don’t want to be woken up, you’d put your phone on do not disturb. you can thank me later for being your alarm clock.” 

he gave you a bright smile and a few head pats before you set off down the road to your favorite bakery which happened to be on the way to school. you didn’t go every morning, but most days it was necessary for you to start your day off right. 

“how’s the team looking this year, mr. vice captain?”

“pretty good, actually! four first years joined the team and one of them’s over six feet tall. our blocks will be unstoppable!”

 there were several things you loved about suga but, if there was one thing you enjoyed most, it was hearing him get psyched about volleyball. even though you couldn’t play anymore, his undying enthusiasm for the sport made you feel like you were living through him vicariously. 

“and there’s one who’s on the shorter side, only a little taller than noya. but he seems to have so much energy and drive, it’s just-- i don’t know, i have a feeling we could actually make it to nationals this year.” 

“wow, that’s great!” 

“you should come to practice and see them! also we just got asahi back so i need to make sure my sets really land.” 

“kou, you know i love watching you guys but isn’t that what kiyoko’s there for?”

“well, yeah, but you know how i play best!”

“yeah, sure. it’s not like i have anything better to do.” 

“you never let me down!” 

 his smile never let you down. 

it was your senior year of high school and it felt like things were going to be nothing but great.

“so...speaking of you knowing me best,” he started rather hesitantly.

“what would you do if i...made you dinner?”

“i...what?”

“oh, uh, oh, no. not, like, i make you dinner but, like...rei finally agreed to come around tonight and i thought i’d make something for them.”

“oh, um,” you tried to force a smile. “yeah, i think they’d like that.”

“yeah? you don’t think it’s too cheesy or anything? we haven’t hung out very much but i’d thought it would be a nice way to show them that i mean what i feel, you know?”

“yeah, yeah! that sounds perfect, kou..”

if only they knew that they were so lucky. 

you knew about this person, rei. they were your teammate and even a friend at one time. they transferred to karasuno during your second year and you bonded over your shared interest of the libero position. they didn’t get to play much that season until you got injured and had to quit playing. 

to see them fill that position so easily, it made you feel so type of way. a way that suga couldn’t know because even though he was there for you, he couldn’t deny his feelings. you remember when he told you that he liked them. about how he’s liked them ever since they came to karasuno and about how he was nervous to talk to them. 

and guess what?

you encouraged him. you encouraged him to try to pursue someone who you knew and liked, so now you had to hide that you were envious of both their position on the team AND the fact that your best friend is in love with them. 

at first, you tried to look at it as a positive point. you were still friendly with them, but volleyball was the only thing that connected you so you didn’t talk to them that much anymore. but now that suga, the person you’re closest to, was talking to them, it opened up the possibility that you would be able to reconnect with them. you had to be supportive. you were his friend, his closest friend, after all. 

-

the next morning you didn’t wake up from a text from suga. no, it took several snooze buttons to wake you up, which already put you in a bad mood. 

it’s ur turn now. are u alive??

i actually woke up to my alarms, how weird. u must be dead lol 

also have you done the english assignment yet? i need serious help >_<

you weren’t afraid to double, triple, even quadruple text him because more often than not, he did that to you. sometimes he’d even send longish paragraphs as he did later that day when classes had already started. 

hey sorry today has just been filled with fun and thriving and good stuff! rei asked me if i wanted to meet up with them before school last night and they made me some sweet buns and they were soooo good. i think we’re going to eat lunch together with some of their friends from vbc. ugh english sucks for me too. idk why you think i’m good at it

you almost jumped at the gesture to reply. it was never this long that he would go without text you at least one dumb thing. 

haha it’s okay don’t be sorry! so i guess last night went well?

also ur great at english sugar-wara what r u talking about??

it surprised you how quickly they seemed to become so friendly. it was kinda weird that he would already be spending a lot of time with her and now meeting all her friends. he probably already knew of them though, with volleyball and everything. the thoughts of how long you would have to wait for a reply crept in your mind, but that was quickly erased by an elapsed period of only a few minutes. 

yeah it went great! they had never had someone cook for them before, so they really liked it. this morning they told me they’d show me how to make fried eggs bc i said i dont know how to use a stove lol 

wait you made a whole meal for this person and u don’t know how to use the stove??

i used a crockpot and microwave ok :// don’t make fun of me dingus 

well a stove would definitely broaden ur horizons lmao that’s nice it went well though 

thank you i hope its going well 

that conversation was truly the end of the beginning. 

Every day after that seemed to happen the same way. you’d wake up, no text from suga. he hadn’t even replied to what you last said the previous night. you didn’t see him much either, but you knew who he was with probably. you would still stop by at volleyball practice where you did get to see him but they were there also. so you found yourself dipping out a lot more. 

it just felt weird. seeing him talk to someone he didn’t even know before. they didn’t even know him. even when you two were on the team together, they never once showed much interest in him and now it just seemed strange that they would. 

the transition was particularly difficult for you, as much as you didn’t want to admit it. one night you were so overwhelmed with work because you had waited too long to do it. frantically texting suga was an understatement. 

you knew you couldn’t put all your reliance on him but it was weird that he wasn’t replying on a school night as he was just as much a procrastinator as you. you dragged yourself through the night, trying to put together a somewhat coherent speech for english the next day. which, again, started as it had for the past few weeks. you still hadn’t heard from him, but it doesn’t even matter anymore. by the time he replied, it was almost embarrassing on your part. 

oh my god y/n i’m so sorry i didn’t reply sooner. i tried to get all my work done early so i could hang out with rei last night and i was asking my mom for advice and she told me to just pay attention to them as much as possible so i just wanted to be with them, you know? but i really hope you didn’t beat yourself up too much about it and that you got at least a little sleep. i’m sure your speech went well :) 

you sounded desperate for his help and meanwhile, he’s genuinely trying to show someone how much they mean to him. could you look any more stupid? 

you didn’t even want to reply but you felt like you had to. 

no don’t be sorry koshi! if anything i’m sorry i was just super frustrated in the moment and didn’t know what to do. i managed to pull something halfway decent together i think so it’s all okay now 

was it okay though? 

that was when you realized that things would never be the same. you’re his best friend and that’s simply it. you mean something to him, but not the same something that they mean to him. you couldn’t go to him when you help because then you’d be taking his time away from someone who wanted to feel that special meaning. it was a hard pill to swallow, for sure. but there were still several questions that lingered in the potential of what your relationship could be.

isn’t it possible to be both a best friend and a partner at the same time? you didn’t see any problem with it, so why couldn’t it be true? 

-

two weeks past and suga, your best friend, decided to let you in on some news. 

going up against all these powerhouse schools is definitely tough but it’ll help our team in the long run. we’re really amped to play seijoh soon but also i have an s/o now who can come and cheer us on 

WAIT you guys made it official?? when?

haha we’ve been official for like two weeks now 

oh well that’s great! 

(what the actual hell.)

months went by and you saw suga maybe two or three times. and only saw him, usually with the rest of the volleyball team or with rei and their friends. you texted now and then but it wasn’t the same. you had to accept that it wouldn’t be the same, so you did. you had a good group of friends who you spent more of your time with, as well as trying to focus as much as possible on school. entrance exams were coming up and you couldn’t let this be your downfall, even though you and suga had previously talked about possibly going to the same college together. but that wasn’t important anymore. 

you had your priorities and suga had his. 

which was the biggest reason why you decided not to go to the game against aoba johsai. you told him that you would try to make it, if schoolwork and college prep courses would lend you the chance. you were just trying to focus on yourself and work hard in on your own. you still texted him just to show that you still cared. 

sorry i couldn’t make it to the game! how did it go?

we lost :’(( we were so close too 

oh no :( i’m sorry kou. but i know you guys will get them next time!

he never replied, which only made you want to grow further from him. 

summer vacation rolled around and it was about a month out from suga’s birthday. a strange text appeared from someone you didn’t expect. 

Hey so I wanted to get manga for suga for his bday but I cannot for the life of me remember which ones he has so can you try to casually ask him which ones he has? like the next time you guys talk about manga or something?

you felt weird that they were asking for your help, considering that they now spent more time with him than you did. but you weren’t going to completely ignore them either.

to be honest we haven’t talked a whole lot lately but i’ll try to subtly ask him 

Okay awesome thanks!

what were you thinking of getting him?

Deathnote lol nothing original

hmm maybe the new aot volume? 

Yeah, that’s a good one. Or maybe BNHA

yeah that too! do you still want me to ask him? 

Yeah could you? 

yeah sure!

Yay thanks! 

okay i’ll let you know what i find out

going through with this was even worse. if it were you, you’d take him to see his favorite artist in concert. he wasn’t never much of a concert guy but he would talk about how badly he wanted to go see them live. or a more lowkey and personal option would be to customize a crewneck for him. you had a knack for designing and decorating plain-looking clothes and he would try to do it himself but would always remark how much better yours always turned out. 

but this time you’re simply the messenger and wouldn’t get that chance to get him something you know he’d love. not that he wouldn’t like manga, but it just seemed like they weren’t putting a ton of thought into it. maybe you couldn’t blame them though, it had only been a few months that they had been dating. 

that conversation honestly seemed more out-of-the-blue than anything, but you were hoping that suga would be as oblivious as ever. it didn’t even matter in the end because he never even answered your subtle way of asking. you didn’t feel like double texting because a.) you hadn’t done that in months and b.) it seemed too obvious. 

in the end, you did all that you could do and told rei that you had no information to provide, even after a week had passed. that was your, now monthly, interaction with suga that month. 

but it wasn’t like you weren’t thinking about him. 

your interactions moved from text to strictly snapchat, where you would hold streaks for considerable amounts of time. but every time you seemed to break contact with him, you found yourself blaming them. but you couldn’t blame them. they were with him, dating him. they had a right to claim a spot by his side. you had learned to pull back and just live your life. 

but life didn’t want you to have a great time either. albeit through a simple app like snapchat, he was the one asking you if you were okay. at this point, you would probably just deflect but somehow, you found yourself telling him about how you didn’t do so well on your entrance exams, despite having done what you could to prepare for them. you just thought you were so focused to do well, but maybe it was too much focus. you told him it would be alright. another notification came through.

snapchat from sugar wara  

you opened it to a selfie of him, one that was angled upwards to position him looking right up into the camera, his wide hazel eyes being the centerpiece of the photo. the caption simply said, “promise?”

and that was when it happened. you felt something different in your heart like it was knocked around in your chest. you smiled at the simple response and replied, “yeah i promise!!” 

it felt strange, but you finally admitted it, 

you were in love with koshi sugawara. 

timing was, without a doubt, a demise in all of your previous relationship endeavors. you could never seem to get that part right, also coming in too fast or not knowing if you should wait. you had only hoped that someone you liked would like you just as much. so catching feelings for someone, strong feelings at that, was not part of your current life plans. let alone with suga, someone you were, at one point, extremely close to. 

you know so much about him and what scared you was that your confession would be the only one that could mess up whatever relationship you had left with him. why couldn’t you just enjoy where you stood with him? why should your selfish feeling have to get in the way? 

stupid was an understatement as you how you felt. he was still dating rei, and that didn’t look like it was going to end anytime soon. you didn’t know what to do or how to cope. you can fight your feelings, but they can’t change right away. and for as long as you’ve known suga, the history you’ve shared with him, it seemed like these feelings weren’t leaving anytime soon. 

you spent the next couple of weeks trying to get everything out, while simultaneously trying to forget. you vented about it to your friends and while most of them offered advice, you stuck with just remaining stagnant. one of them suggested that you confess to him but that was what you feared most: that your feeling would become so overwhelming that you had to do something impulsive to relieve them. he would probably never talk to you again. there was nothing you could do. he was in a relationship with someone he really likes. why would you try to ruin that for him? 

you didn’t go to any of the preliminaries, mostly because of prep courses and trying to prepare for the next round of entrance exams. you still kept up with suga and saw that they won in the game against seijoh and we now going to the finals against shiratorizawa. you swiped up on his story and typed a simple, “omg that's amazing!! see I knew you guys could do it.” you continue to scroll through your phone, not thinking that much about it until a notification popped up.

sugar wara is typing…

snapchat from sugar wara

yeah it was great! Wish you could have been here though :(

me too! college prep courses seem to have been taking up all my time :P

is there any chance that you could try to find time to come to finals? 

we've been trying to get all the support that we can

plus it would be nice to see a familiar face there :) 

yeah i'll see what i can do to try to be there!

 wymd a familiar face? hasn't rei been going to the prelims?

they have been but we actually broke up about two weeks ago

i sort of initiated it but i promise it's okay

your eyes almost fell out of your head when you read that 2 weeks ago you were talking about how you were in love with him and were and decided to accept that it wasn't going to happen. now you're hearing that at the same time they had broken up? It seemed odd and... bittersweet. 

oh no i'm sorry kou :(

you bit your lip as you couldn't help but ask.

wdym you initiated it tho?

so kageyama has been killing it as our setter especially with his quick attack move with hinata 

rei was worried that i wasn't being treated fairly bc i'm a senior and vice-captain and all that. i tried to reassure them that i just want to see our team thrive and go to nationals but they still were worried about it and would talk about how they would go to games and never see me play once

it's been hard especially that it happened right before the seijoh game and now before finals

yeah i'm sure it's been difficult 

but don't beat yourself don't blame yourself so much! the team needs your support just as much as it needs players. nobody could replace that :)

thanks y/n :) i appreciate you so much

although you thought you would be happy, you can’t help but still feel weird about this whole thing. you felt like the ball was in your court but your bum arm couldn’t receive it properly. your feelings for him had been strong and you felt like you had to pack them all the way so now it just felt wrong to let them flow out again. but now that there was no conflict of interest, did you have to hide your feelings? 

it was more complicated than it was before. you didn't know how anything was going to play out at all and that kinda scared you. you did know one thing though, and that was how to be a loyal friend to suga because that's all you ever were from the start and that's what you could and would be for the future.

-

it was the friday before the finals game. 

you decided to stay late after school to maximize your focus on studying. it seemed to have worked because the sun was going down before you knew it. you wanted to get ahead on work so you could go to the game tomorrow. you and suga had been talking more recently and while it wasn’t as much as it used to be, it was more than it had been in the past several months. 

you quickly gathered up your things and left school for the night. the pretty orange and pink sky lit your way home through the quiet town and into the residential parts. at that point, the dark had met and light and-

“y/n! hey, wait!”

you turned to see none other than suga, jogging up behind you to catch up. you smiled at his sudden presence, looking past him to see the small group of the rest of the team. 

“hey! funny seeing you here.”

“yeah, haha,” he chuckled, catching his breath from suddenly running a considerable distance. “are you going home?”

“yeah.”

“can i walk with you?”

“of course.”

great! so i’m guessing you stayed late at school? you’re still wearing your uniform.”

“oh, yeah,” you affirmed, looking down at your monotonous outfit. “i just wanted to be all caught up on work and studying so i could go to the game tomorrow.”

“oh, yeah? that’s good to hear! yeah, we were-- we just had a late practice. coach left before us but we wanted to stay a little longer.”

“i hope you guys win tomorrow, it seems like you’ve been working really hard.”

“yeah, i hope so too. we’ve come a long way in such a short amount of time, it just feels like we can’t stop now.” 

you nodded in agreement. there was a beat of silence just then, and while it wasn’t awkward, it felt like something was lingering in the air.

“so, um,” he spoke up after several seconds. his eyes met yours and you felt that pang in your chest again, quickly looking away. “it’s been a while, huh?”

“yeah. yeah, it has, i guess,” you laughed lightly. you reached the intersection with the never-ending blinking stoplight and you turned around to face him.

“but i guess i’ll see you tomorrow, right?”

“yeah. yeah!”

“okay, get some sleep. goodnight.”

he nodded and you grinned at him before turning around to walk the rest of the way home until his voice stopped you again.

“hey, y/n?”

“yeah, kou?”

he looked down and all around, anywhere but your face.

“i, um, i know things have been kinda weird between for a while but it’s made me realize that i missed you, a lot.”

“yeah, i missed you, too.”

“but it’s also made me realize that i enjoy spending time with you and talking to you. like, even now, just talking to you makes me feel-- i don’t know. it makes me feel at ease like i’m home. and i’d really like to spend more time with you because i, um, i really like you.”

“you, you what?”

“i really like you, sugar.”

in all the ways you had imagined this happening, you never thought that you would feel your face fall to a frown, your heart beating in your ears. something just didn’t sit right with you about it.

“i, i, i don’t know what to say...”

“it’s okay if you don’t! i just wanted to tell you.”

“but why are you telling me this now?”

“do you-- do you not feel the same?”

“no. no! i’ve been wanting to hear you say something like that for so long, it’s just. you broke up with rei not too long ago and-- i don’t know. something isn’t right about it.” you shook your head, unsure of what you were trying to say.

“it’s how i feel,” he shrugged. “i just wanted to tell you and have a good feeling to hold onto to make tomorrow a little easier.”

you looked at him in disbelief.

“oh, so you think you can confess all that to me right before this big game and that i’ll automatically reciprocate those feelings when you just broke up with someone not even a month ago? i’m not a second choice--”

“no, sugar, listen, that’s not how i meant it at all--”

“no sugawara.” those words made him go quiet instantly. you never used his full name, there was always some sort of play on it, so this was serious. 

“maybe that’s not how you meant it, but that’s how i’m taking it. i’ve been wanting to tell you for so long how i felt but i wanted to respect your feelings so i didn’t. so please, respect mine. i’m not the good luck charm that you can just confess to and expect that it’ll all be okay. this just isn’t right. i’m sorry, koshi. 

your voice broke as his name left your lips, tears beginning to fall. you didn’t even give him a chance to respond, a rush of adrenaline telling you to quickly turn and get out of there. 

-

you didn’t get much sleep that night. 

it was hard not to think about your conflicted feelings over suga’s confession. you had hoped for that moment for a long time but the timing simply wasn’t right. how funny and ironic is that? you thought your timing was off. maybe you were meant for each other in that way. you couldn’t help but let your feelings get the best of you and you were beginning to become what you feared most from him. you thought he would immediately reject you and make you feel bad about ever saying anything about how you felt. but the roles are reversed and that was the part that blindsided you the most. 

you didn’t think that how you reacted was wrong but you also couldn’t imagine how he was feeling right now. he just wanted to feel good right before a big game but that backfired right in his face. some might call it karma, but part of you thought he didn’t deserve it. 

the pressure was setting in as the game went into the fifth and final set. what made it worse was kageyama wouldn’t be starting that set, his nose bleeding from the spike he took to the face. suga was genuinely thrilled to be a teacher, a mentor, and a support system for his fellow teammates. he didn’t mind that another, rather talented, setter had joined the team because that meant he wouldn’t have to worry about passing the position over to someone who he thought didn’t deserve it. 

he almost forgot he was actually a player on the team when everyone looked to him to fill in. this was his moment and it just happened to be at the most overwhelming part of this game. Both teams were tired while simultaneously running on pure adrenaline to see who was going to come out on top. 

suga had an opportunity, not only to start the set but be the trailblazer for their success. 

the nerves set in as he held up the paddle with the number nine on it, kageyama holding it up with him for a moment. It was symbolic in a way. suga always thought he’d be passing the baton to him, his successor as karasuno’s official setter, but this felt just as sentimental. Suga hadn’t played much this season but he got to watch the team grow into something that it once was: something great. They’ve had their share of loss and strife but it finally seemed like they had come so far and the only direction they can go is up. 

the nerves set in as he looked around, anywhere to ease them. His eyes automatically went to the team banner, black with the simple word ‘fly’ written over it, where all the school and their supporters were watching. he went down the line quickly but the wave of a hand caught his eye. his eyes shifted back and felt that familiar grin on him.

it was you. 

“c’mon suga! You can do it!”

and so he did. 

once the final ball hit the ground, the room was quiet with shock. it had been tight for most of the game but no one really expected this outcome. they were going to nationals. daichi, suga, and asahi embraced, taking in the satisfying feeling of victory. 

after the awards ceremony, you were buzzing with excitement for them, trying to calmly follow the rest of the crowd out of the gym. you could tell they were somewhere along the hallway as another crowd formed to congratulate the winning team. you weaved in and out of it, even getting on your toes to see if you could spot a familiar head of gray hair. 

you finally caught a glance at him from afar, his smile growing as his eyes locked onto yours.

“y/n!”

you mimicked his expression and found your feet moving quicker than your brain could process. he put in the same amount of haste to meet you in the middle. you both stopped at about an arm’s length away from each other. his flushed cheeks and slightly red but glistening eyes held your smile as you decided to speak first. 

“hey, kou.”

“hey, sugar.”

another minute couldn’t be wasted as you finally crashed into one another. it felt better to hold somebody that you knew and genuinely loved. you could be sure that he felt the same way as he held your body tightly against him. 

heyo haikyuu night! send any requests right here..

[echoghost1]

EchoGhost's Phic Phight 2021 Master Post

And in case you missed any, or just like seeing the whole gang together, here is every single fic I wrote for my first ever Phic Phight!

1) Perseverance

AO3 or Tumblr

Summary: While Maddie is helping Danny with his homework a notification from his phone becomes a major distraction.

Prompt: PR134 - Danny is sitting quietly next to someone. Maybe he's doing homework with his friends, maybe Jazz is driving him somewhere, maybe he's working on a group project with someone, maybe he's doing something else entirely. He suddenly starts *freaking* the heck out - Perseverance has just landed on Mars, and he just found out about it. How is his reaction perceived by whoever he's with?

2) The Reason You Wail

AO3 or Tumblr

Summary: An odd feeling he can't quite explain is haunting Danny. He wants it to stop but he knows it won't, he just knows now.

Prompt: PR054 - As Danny gets older, he doesn't just predict the appearance of ghosts. He starts predicting when someone's going to die.

3) Forget Your Life Story

AO3 or Tumblr

Summary: Danny woke up with no memory. He didn’t even know his own name. The doctor told him it would come back and his parents were there to help him. He trusts them, even if he doesn't recognize them. Even if some things didn’t quite line up.

Prompt: PR002 - Danny woke up from being in a month long coma with no memory of how he got there or anything about his past. Thankfully, the doctors said that his memory would return eventually, and he had his loved ones nearby to tell him who he was and his life story. However, as his memory slowly returns, there's huge, distinct differences between what he's been told and the things he's remembering.

4) Recreational Botany

AO3 or Tumblr

Summary: It wasn't her fault. She was merely curious, had only wanted to help. She didn't mean for this to happen. She just hoped it would wear off soon. (TW: Drug use - Weed)

Prompt: PR228 - Ghost weed.

5) Fool’s Errand (Ghost Prince AU)

AO3 or Tumblr

Summary: It had been hours since Danny flew off to fight Pariah Dark and Vlad took it upon himself to see what was taking the boy so long.

Prompt: PR065 - After their fight, Pariah Dark decides Danny has all the qualities he wants in an heir and forcibly adopts him. (Danny can either lose the fight to put him back in the Sarcophagus, or Pariah can get out again later.)

6) You Walked Right Into This

AO3 or Tumblr

Summary: Sometimes walking is more than just walking. (TW: Child Abuse)

Prompt: PR142 - Jack and Maddie seriously injure Danny Fenton, resulting in him being at their mercy and revealing he’s not exactly human. Now the parents have to decide wether to help him... or finish what they started. TW for serious injury and probably gore and angst.

7) What You Fear The Most (Scary Ghost Form AU)

AO3 or Tumblr

Summary: What if his ghost form was less human-looking? What if he looked every bit the monster his parents had always told him ghosts were?

Prompt: PR035 - Monstrous: AU where Danny's ghost form is monstrous and grotesque. On one hand, he doesn't have to worry about anyone recognizing him; on the other, it might be even harder to convince people that he's a good guy

8) Parallels

AO3 or Tumblr

Summary: It's amazing the things you learn on a field trip.

Prompt: PR047 - Wacky reveals (ex: Danny drying up too quickly bc intangibility, Danny's drink stays cool way too long, people's electronic devices are always more charged when they've been near Danny, etc)

9) Cast Into Obsidian (Blind AU)

AO3 or Tumblr

Summary: The accident sent Danny to the hospital due to the damage to his eyes.

Prompt 01: PR092 - Write a more traditional ghost story. How would things change if ghost powers weren’t super powers, but closer to old horror movie tropes?

Prompt 02: PR259 - The Accident didn’t turn Danny into a half ghost, but instead allowed him to see, hear, and physically interact with the very real ghosts that are now pouring through the portal (Alternative: Danny’s always been clairvoyant, but after the accident he finally sees all of the ghosts he’d grown up talking to)

10) Where The Lines Overlap (Parallels part 2)

AO3 or Tumblr

Summary: Maddie wants to know what her son has been keeping from her and today he finally decides to tell her. (TW: Outsider POV of PTSD flashbacks)

Prompt: PR091 - When he told his parents the truth, Danny had only ever bothered thinking about the stress of potential dissection. With that out of the way, and his secret fully accepted, he realised that there were a lot of unexpected things to adjust to... Write about something funny or awkward as the Fentons learn to live with a half ghost son!

11) Quoth the Librarian, “But I’m Alone?”

AO3 or Tumblr

Summary: Eleanor loved her job at the school library. She always made sure to come in early to make sure everything was just right before the students came. Today something beat her there.

Prompt: PR234 - Suddenly, there was a knock at the door...

12) The Baldr to My Odin (Ghost Prince AU part 2)

AO3 or Tumblr

Summary: Pariah has recently acquired a son and wants to get to know him better.

Prompt: PR121 - Pariah Dark wakes up from his slumber and tries to live a peaceful existence in his castle practicing his swordsmanship and rebuilding his castle with all modern luxuries. But ghost from the ghost zone keep trying to challenge him to become king.

13) Tagged

AO3 or Tumblr

Summary: Dr. Flora Santos and her partner Dr. Carlos Rodriguez have lucked out as they have finally caught their most elusive subject.

Prompt: PR090 - Something physical happens to Danny’s body that makes it impossible to keep his secret identity, well, secret.

14) The Paleontologist and The Princess (Dino boy AU)

AO3 or Tumblr

Summary: Danny had one true passion; Paleontology. So can anyone really blame him for getting excited when he thinks he comes face to face with a dinosaur? Even if it isn't a dinosaur after all.

Prompt: PR139 - "Actually, Dad? I wanted to be a paleontologist."

15) Lost In Transmission

AO3 or Tumblr

Summary: There's a Ghost Expo happening at Casper High and Danny thinks it'll be fun to see all the incorrect ways people try to find ghosts. He learns the hard way that just because is old, doesn't mean it doesn't work.

Prompt: PRO58 - Casper high is holding a supernatural expo. Supposed paranormal experts are gathered in their gym to show off their expertise. Thinking it'll be a flop, since most employ methods that aren't modern, Danny and his friends go for fun. Only, it turns out that traditional ghost hunting techniques are more efficient than they seem.

16) Dark Familiarity (Role Swap AU)

AO3 or Tumblr

Summary: Danny has been hunting ghosts for a while now. He has been ever since they ruined his life and a mysterious package arrived with everything he needed to exact his revenge. (TW: Character Death)

Prompt: PR095 - Danny and Valerie role swap (but not personality swap!!). How does Valerie fair as a ghost? How does Danny do as a ghost hunter (and what motivates him to do it in the first place?) [Shipping them is fine, but gen fics are preferred!]

17) I’ve Felt It Too

AO3 or Tumblr

Summary: Ember's having a bad day and Danny tries to help.

Prompt: PR079 - Phantom looked at Ember. Her eyes filled with tears. She gnashed her teeth and screamed. "You don't know what it's like."

And Phantom, with a heavy sigh whispered. "Yeah, I do..."

18) Repair All Of The Damage (Undead Danny AU)

AO3 or Tumblr

Summary: After the tragic loss of her son, Maddie vows to bring him back. No matter what. (TW: Death of a child)

Prompt: PR088 - tw; death of a child?

The Fentons had their daughter sure but they always wanted a son. due to an accident or complication with their son, Danny, died. They decide to put their ghostly knowledge to use and try to summon the spirit of their son back to them. They are ghost scientists. they know how to contain them after all. How much time that has passed between the death and the 'summoning' is up to you!

19) Out Of This World (And Into The Next)

AO3 or Tumblr

Summary: What if when Danny first fought the Lunch Lady ghost she actually noticed how young he was. What if she didn't know he was more than just another ghost? What if when she commented on how underweight he was, she decided to help him?

Prompt 01: PR113 - Danny has an existential crisis because he’s dead

Prompt 02: PR242 - somehow, he's gotten younger

20) Spirit Versus Spunk

AO3 or Tumblr

Summary: Mr. Lancer isn't sure how he's supposed to be reacting to what he's seeing, but seeing as he's the adult here, he better make up his mind.

Prompt: PR019 - Danny and Wes Weston fight over a harmless ghost. This happens during a ghost attack.

21) The Group Project From Hell

AO3 or Tumblr

Summary: Danny and Tucker get stuck working with someone that they really don’t want to

Prompt: Everyone hates group projects, and that’s even if you like your group members. Tucker, Danny, and Elliot/Gregor all get teamed up for a group project, and Tucker and Danny need to refrain from killing him.

And as an added bonus I did make a Spotify playlist for this too! There's a song for each fic that I felt best fit the vibe of each story.

[uno-writing]

🥨 ok ignore this ask if you aren’t comfortable answering, but what time zone do you live in? This question has been plaguing me for awhile bc you usually write while I’m asleep, but I go to bed at 9:00 (everyone says that’s way too early but joke’s on them bc I don’t need an alarm to wake up at 6:30), and you said you’re a night owl so I’m not sure if it’s a time zone thing or if you’re actually posting throughout the night. One of your posts said it was posted at 10:30 PM which is probably not good if you’re in my time zone but also not that crazy of a time either. My time zone is Eastern Standard Time btw (also from one artist to another, your drawing of Rei is soo good)

-Pretzel Anon 🥨

I'm in Eastern Standard Time!! I usually don't have time to post throughout the day bc of schoolwork/housework so I usually only have time after 7pm plus I have trouble sleeping/dont sleep that much normally so I just end up posting at night lol I usually end up going to bed around 11ish tho unless I don't have to get up early the next day (like the night I got 40 asks answered)

Also thank you 🥰🥰

[ficsex]

more things to share from people!

somewhat infodumpy ramble about PCOS and internal exams:

there's three main criteria (Rotterdam criteria) commonly used for diagnosis, and you have to meet two of them: irregular periods, increased androgen levels (shown on blood tests or in physical changes like body hair), and little sacs called follicles on the ovaries seen via internal ultrasound (these are not actual ovarian cysts despite the name of the syndrome. yes it's confusing). You can dx with the first two criteria, hence diagnosis without an internal exam

treatment for PCOS is usually just treating symptoms (eg. acne/hair growth from increased testosterone, irregular periods) and associated issues (eg. insulin resistance, infertility) so afaik it's kinda rare for that to require exams as well, but it's not unheard of (eg. the ovaries have grown in size from the follicles and that's causing pain)

thank you so much!

I'm grateful for this blog <3 I'm in my early 30s and super asexual and never had sex or anything, I only saw a gynecologist once a few years ago bc of trouble with periods and he said he doesn't, like, touch patients who have never had sex (he did an ultrasound (? not sure if that's the word in english) and gave me some pills and it was fixed with that so gynecology things never came up again. In my region the government gives you periodical free pap smears from 25 years, they scheduled one for me automatically when I turned 25 and I called them to ask if I could/should get one since I'd never had sex. The person on the phone sounded surprised that someone at 25 had never had sex (is that even so rare?! smh) and didn't have an answer for me except that I could cancel it, so I canceled it. But I haven't talked to any medical professional about it ever since. Ah I didn't mention that I can't fit anything larger than 1 finger inside my vagina (I tried multiple times out of curiosity but it's just weird and anything larger is just painful and won't get inside anyway), which is not an issue in my daily life at all, so I never saw a doctor about it but it makes me nervous in case I should have a doctor put things inside it for medical reasons - I know I should just see a gynecologist and talk to them about the whole thing, but I really don't want to go through the potential humiliation of not being understood. (I've had bad experiences with mental health professionals who didn't know shit about my sexuality & adjacent things, and that messed up with my brain a bit.) Anyway sorry for the long message but I just wanted to say I'm glad to see people around my age with similar situations, it makes me feel less weird about this stuff. Thanks again for the blog, it's great :)

it can be so stressful to try and find a doctor who will understand you - if you have any friends in your region, maybe see if one of them can recommend a gynecologist that will treat you well, or a message board for people who have similar mental health / sexuality experiences to you.

here are two more possible reasons people could have foot fetishes:

1) feet (and hands) have MANY more nerve endings than most body parts. while they aren't a typical erogenous zone, you could still stimulate them like you would someone's genitals.

2) it might be considered humiliating to have to do stuff with someone's feet, and some people like humiliation

and

For feet anon, lol, altho I probably wouldn’t suck toes, feet are personally attractive in the same way hands are—not all of them, of course, but some feet are elegant?? Especially as they have curves such as the arch or the ankle 🤔👍yeah I think that’s most of it for aesthetics, personally//plus I think they’re a vulnerable part of a person, which does add to the appeal and intimacy

about feet!

(and like, I've sucked on my partners' toes, to see what it felt like. it was fine, it felt exactly like sucking on fingers, just shorter. literally not even a smidge as weird as people make it out to be)

(this is not a question and does not need answering, i've just unloaded a whole lot of questions on you over the last few days and realized i had never thanked you or sent love! so, so many thanks and so much love for doing what you do, you've emboldened me to actually writing smut with confidence for the first time.)

oh, hooray! I am so pleased that it's helpful!!

hi, about the anon who asked about labia. some people have very small inner labia. mine personally are very tiny, almost as if they're not there at all. so maybe theirs are too?

laaaaabia are so cool and vaaaaaaaried!

Regarding your post on noncon fantasies. My reason for enjoying them is I am simply lazy and don't want to have to put in the effort to let people know I consent or even to initiate conversations. Also I get very anxious and overwhelmed by all the stuff I can choose to do, so it's almost calming to imagine not having a choice, if that makes sense. I don't know where that fits in your main reasons, or even if it does at all, so I thought I'd just share so people can know another thought process behind these types of fantasies.

more thoughts on non-con, thank you anon!

[your-turn-to-role]

This is coming from a place of genuine confusion....but why does a sect of the fandom dislike Marisha so much?? Like, I haven't seen it for ANY of the other players. Is it a "wife/girlfriend of the DM" complex, because I've seen that before. Idk, I don't get it, and no amount of googling has made me understand lol.

yeahhhhhhh

okay, to preface, i absolutely disagree with all of the marisha hate, i think she's a great player and is really unfairly treated

but a couple reasons why this tends to be a thing:

1) just plain old regular misogyny, yeah. all the girls on cr get it to an extent, but it's stronger with marisha - the idea that dnd is inherently a man's game and therefore no woman could be good at it is pervasive even in this fandom, not outright, but in subtle things, like how people give the guys a lot more leeway to do dumb shit than the girls, and on dnd posts in the past i've seen comments like "this reads like how laura and marisha would describe dnd while their husbands facepalm in the background", which like... isn't really harmful on the surface, but i have a hard time imagining matt and especially travis ever facepalming at their wives genuine ideas? like if it's obviously meant to be something ridiculous and not taken seriously, sure, but otherwise, that subtle implication that they see travis as a better player than laura is just way off. (and matt has more dnd experience than marisha but like... she's still a very good player)

2) the keyleth instinct. so here's the thing about campaign one and the characters they chose to play - the majority of the cast played within their comfort zone. they branched out a lot for c2, and obviously they as people aren't identical to their vox machina counterparts, but they're not too far away either. liam's stated he irl would be a rogue, taliesin likes playing intelligent edgy teenage assholes bc he was one, laura is a bit more goofy than vex but she still thinks a lot the same, scanlan is very sam, travis is obviously a lot smarter than grog but he still fell very in line with the kind of character travis is comfortable playing and the things he wants to explore.

but marisha chose a character in campaign one who was completely the opposite of her natural self. marisha is confident and very take no shit and a natural leader, keyleth is awkward and shy and doubts herself and overthinks things and has really bad luck in basically everything she ever tries. and people watched campaign one and assumed all of those traits were just the way marisha was. if you aren't drawn to keyleth as a character, it's relatively easy to find ways to hate her (which again circles back to the misogyny a bit). they see keyleth constantly fuck up due to awkwardness and think "marisha doesn't know how to play the game". they see keyleth be a mess of a person socially and think "wow marisha's not a very good actor if she can't handle this", completely ignoring the fact that she is acting very well and it's proven by the fact that they think keyleth is marisha

(and while she still gets hate as either character, the keyleth hate was far worse than the beau hate)

3) people just, not getting what she's doing. i wasn't in the fandom for the early days of cr2, but i have friends who were, and they've said there were circles of the fandom where everything marisha did was in question, even people not believing beau was a lesbian when it's made obvious in episode one, because what if she's doing it on purpose as a scam? and like, to broaden that a bit, i think marisha's characters and their decisions get misread a lot. i personally happen to find both beau and keyleth very relatable, so i usually get where they're coming from (mostly, bowlgate i was more on caleb's side there, but i still don't think she deserves hate for it), but to people who don't, or just haven't put effort into trying to understand marisha's characters, then between keyleth's awkwardness and beau's abrasiveness i think the majority of what they pick up from marisha's characters is negative

which is a shame, because they're both really good, well thought out, interesting characters.

4) this is going into my own meta for a bit, but, something i've found about marisha's characters is they're quite down to earth and very easily the viewpoint character of the group, in a way? like obviously it's an ensemble cast, but like... let's take keyleth. campaign one starts and ends with her. the very first adventure is triggered by her leaving home for the first time, to start her aramente. she's led a sheltered life up to this point, she doesn't know the world she's walking into - so we learn about this fantasy world at the same time she does. she has the most linear and easy to follow development, her aramente spans most of the story, and once it's done things only get more centered on her. she's now a leader of her people, she's fulfilled her destiny, but that means she lives so long all her worst fears are coming true - that she'll have to spend the rest of her life alone. how did we learn this was her biggest fear? because she's been scared since the start of losing vax, but the reason she has him at all is she resolved to not let that fear control her. and then as the endgame comes in, she suddenly has to face that head on. vax has a week left to live. barely two days after, they run into sprigg - someone who lived so long after all his friends died that he's lost himself, forgotten them, become a hermit of a person who's just living because he's got nothing better to do - everything keyleth believes she will become, and fears so much. but he proves she can still choose to remember them, and choose to live in their absence, not just survive. keyleth is the one who seals away vecna, who's grown so much in her power since that little scared druid girl, she can banish a god. and our story ends with her, and her father, and a raven - she's moving on, she's living, she's thriving, but she'll never forget.

if i was gonna write out vox machina's story as a novel, there is no character who would better suit being the protagonist than her

it's a bit less strong with beau, but she's still one of the more relatable characters, she's a human, who had a rebellious teenage years because of shitty overbearing parents, she's not a magic user, she's from the country we start in (and doesn't have a dark dangerous mystical secret like caleb and veth), a lot of the big turning points in the story have had her take the lead, it's the relative mundanity that gives a contrast to and lifts up the others, while still being a highly interesting character in her own right. beau is a grounding force of the mighty nein.

i personally like those kinds of characters, but i've noticed in almost all fandoms with a main character and then a group of side characters, the main character is rarely anyone's fave, overlooked in favour more (subjectively) interesting side characters, but then because the story puts the focus on the main character, people get sick of them and start to hate them? and in this form of storytelling, there is no main character, but people sorta do that to those kinds of characters anyway. and in addition to all the other marisha stuff, that probably contributes

[fmdkiana]

*to the tune of backpack backpack from dora the explorer* plot time plot time plot time plot time Yeah. under the cut i have little blurbs on where my muses will be and ideas on threads, so come poke my dms (for tumblr ims i suggest messaging sung) or like/reply to this post and i’ll come around to u!

ki

overall she’s the best muse for first time meetings bc company events like this are the main way to have a conversation with her

choice activities miss ki is doing the candlemaking class and dance class

ki likes making her own soaps and candles as is, so she’s the lucky one of my muses to have an activity just for funzies. she could perhaps teach ur muse a thing or two, or they could challenge themselves to try to make candles for each other

dance class could be practicing together, ki helping a non-dancer/someone unfamiliar in the style, even maybe scrutinizing the video together for the next take

other schedules:

the pool party isn’t one she would attend of her own volition, but definitely could be dragged into it if she likes a muse enough or is given reason to do so. could be fun to get her drunk, loosen her up a bit. or, yk, california, give her some weed and listen to her talk about her special interests for hours

surprisingly ki would show up at the food truck festival, at least for a little while. she tries to be careful about what she eats because her skin is sensitive to so much, but she’d be curious and, what she considers, impulsive. it’d also remind her a bit of home in seattle, the good parts, so she could share that with someone, maybe help someone navigate around too given her english-ing

the best way to bond with ki is through common interest, and either flight could be good for that! your muse or ki engaging in one of her interests and it sparking up a conversation could leave a good (or negative, if ur muse has opinions she Really can’t get behind) impression of them to her

jeonghwa

trying something new, stepping out of your comfort zone, doing something unapproved of by higher ups, all things u can count on jhwa for

choice activities this round are fan makeovers and secret fantasy concert

these activities don’t have much in the moment to thread on, but the spaces around the activities could be! pre-makeover making each other up, doing one another’s makeup and it becomes a cute thing to mention to the fans. maybe jeonghwa was being too distracting at the side of the stage during your muse’s set and they talk about it after. could be loads of things!

other schedules:

you knoooow she’s gotta go to the pool party. she’s probably the one spreading the news to everyone about the party in the first place. if anyone needs an extra kick to be able to come, or someone to help them make bad (see: fun) decisions, jeonghwa’s got u. and honestly if someone isn’t skinny dippin w her what’s the point of the party

random but she makes for a good flight partner. coming in or going, she could sit next to your muse and play games, make it less terrible to go thru for so long

one of the after concert meals jeonghwa would go bc free food and drinks, maybe she convinces your muse to “go to bed” early and they dip to explore, get into trouble, whatever

food truck festival eating contest when? jeonghwa getting dared by a friend to smash funnel cake in someone’s face and your muse is sadly the recipient?

andy

antisocial is in the name, BUT he’s feeling pretty good, if tired, so it’s not a terrible time to approach andy. though, depending on his mood, he could make for some more bitchy moments too

his choice activities are for an individual fansign and the softball team (go red)

fansign may not offer much in the moment, but afterwards, andy could have a little complain session about fans, or gasp, maybe he actually liked one of them

softball team... andy is a competitive motherfucker and is gonna Enjoy playing up the sporty angle. imagine hsm2 i don’t dance, same level of playful banter, same sexual tension, but also more aggressive, and you’ve got it. do i know what this means in terms of a plot? absolutely not but i know it’s so chock full

other schedules:

will andy be at the pool party? yes. but his lips will likely be preoccupied with copious weed and hwa the whole night so a muse might need to specifically seek him out or catch him on his way to the drinks

at the welcome brunch buffet can someone please argue with andy about brunch culture,,, he’s anti brunch :/ says it’s just an excuse for white women to get day drunk and they should just admit to it. all the while he’s pounding back mimosas

sung

sung thinks it is incredibly inappropriate for gsm to not only be pushing him, but the rest of the element members, into work schedules so soon after disbandment. sooo this is probably the most upset 99% of famed would have seen him in public. what shock

his choice activities are being a fashion show model and the busking trip

being a model upsets him, given he was already upset, but then tacks onto it feeling like gsm is valuing him highest for his looks at the moment. anyone who can make the experience less than the worst would b appreciated (or make it worse, talk exclusively abt his visuals, i’m down)

busking sung is actually much more into, but that’s largely because of how much he loves performing, with a side helping of appreciating the charity angle. performing is definitely a release for him, but who knows, he could possibly butt heads with someone too

other schedules:

at first glance, sung wouldn’t be very interested in going to the pool party, but he would only need a small nudge to go tbh bc what teeny part of him has capability for pettiness would want to do something gsm doesn’t approve of, And it would be him giving into utilizing whatever unhealthy coping mechanisms he wanted, just for one night. i’m sure he’d black out by end of night, and would make terrible decisions. encourage him? help him? all up for grabs

could be convinced to go to one of the after concert meals but would need the convincing since he’d rather lay in bed being a sadsack

[holographings]

me being me, hopping on trends like 10 years late. i finally got around to making an influence map! i elaborate on most of these under the cut bc it’s LONG, but if you’re interested here u go!

Bill Watterson and the entirety of Calvin & Hobbes- I feel like i’ve droned on about this to anyone that knows me irl so i’m sorry but it’s the earliest comic strip i can remember reading, the lazy sunday collection has been passed around my family like a relic and it’s what taught me art can still convey so so much even if the art seems playful and kid-friendly. so good will never stop talking about it.

Junji Ito- the man the myth the legend, seeing his work for the first time when i was like 11, especially uzumaki, was like a revelation. i have an issue in life where i feel like some things are off limits/not allowed for me personally, even the smallest things like what you’re “allowed to draw”. and seeing his art flipped some sort of switch in my brain like. yeah actually you can draw anything you want and that means Anything. also how i got introduced to guro art.

Malcolm Liepke- god all of his art is so wonderful, the strokes he uses are so bold and raw but the figures remain very well defined. very influential to the way i’ve tried to work on painting in general.

Riyoko Ikeda- thisss womannn... all of her stories discussing gender and sexuality and how they overlap/their grey zones were a big BIG influence in my early teens, especially oniisama e. and her work was the first thing that made me see how much i love character drama driven plots. her + other year 24 group artists were a major influence for the kinda androgynous way i draw most of my characters

Early 2000′s dreamworks studio productions- ok i’m not sure if this one counts but even as a pre-schooler i had hyperfixations and movies like the road to el dorado/sinbad/the prince of egypt were the SHIT i can quote them word for word to this day, and literally everything about the stylization in the animation and the way it lends itself to the storytelling / early concept art is honestly something i strive for (and i doubt i’ll ever reach that level, but i try not to think like that!)

Moebius- fucking Impeccable artist, i think i’ve picked up the way i use lines in some of my composition from him, and his illustrations remain such a huge inspiration boost whenever i need it

Nitro+chiral studios- i should put this under the “things i discovered too early for my own good” tab, but in every single visual novel of theirs the character design is fucking amazing and, again, a level i strive to reach. every game of theirs is so stylistically well defined, and their dramatic/sometimes plain too much storylines is something i love. again. probably shouldnt’ve looked into visual novels at age 12. but i’m thankful nonetheless

Natasha Allegri- the woman that made me realize i wanted to do art!! her character design/storyboarding for adventure time is the reason i am the person that i am today and i say that with absolutely not a hint of hyperbole. i owe this girl an entire 8+ years of my life spent on art, and hopefully many many more

The rest are various online content creators/artists! i’ve mentioned this but i have no actual formal art education, so i was basically raised by the internet. people who posted their art online were, in a way, the most influential because i could often see their process/how they thought about art, and that made it easy to pick up bits and pieces of their techniques and adjust it or fit it into my personal style. most of them are no longer active online sadly, i’ve been following some of these people for YEARS and i mean like.. longer than i know any of my best friends. my love for them knows no bounds, i don’t want to tag them but if you want to look them up, some of the ones i featured in the map are c-bedford, turndecassette, tumblr user cawoshin, vewn, and rebleflet